Where’s My Extra Tartar Sauce!?!?

Here’s a lesson in acknowledging the “little things” that your customers appreciate…

Last night “The Wife” and I headed over to our favorite guilty pleasure restaurant, Red Lobster. Ya see, Nannaw (My Grandmother) gave us a kick-ass $35 gift card to eat on some golden fried seafood – And it just so happened that we were in the mood to heighten our cholesterol, so we motored down the Dallas highway to go fishin’ in some grease.

Our night began as a fairy tale story, of chain restaurant bliss, as we walked in through the big red double doors to be greeted by our hostess Daneeka. Daneeka introduced us to the location where this evening of fish fillet romance would take place – And we happily accepted her recommended table for two which was just close enough to the restaurant sound system for us to enjoy their Red Lobster mega-mix of James Blunt and Kelly Clarkson hits, but not too close to where you couldn’t hear yourself taste every bite of their delicious cheddar biscuits. And I must say that my wife never looked more beautiful as she sat there next to a wooden picture of a marlin jumping out of the ocean.

So it was time to place our orders. My wife and I both agreed that the “Lobsterita” sounded like the perfect beverage to accompany the upcoming food festivities, so we immediately ordered 4 of them – And just as the glossy menu hyped, the drinks were SEA-nsational! As we sipped on our Lobsteritas, we needlessly glanced over the menu already knowing what we wanted to sink our teeth into… The “Admiral’s Feast.” The Admiral’s Feast is for true seafood lovers who appreciate a fabulously fried assortment of every water-dwelling creature in the sea. We’re fried food connoisseurs and knew that our visit to Red Lobster couldn’t possibly result in disappointment with this no-brainer choice of a main course – Unfortunately, disappointment ensued as a highly important element of my order was missing from my massive plate of otherwise fantastic food.

Here’s exactly what I requested Daneeka bring me for my meal… “Yes Daneeka, I’d like to have the Admirals Feast – And instead of a garden salad, I’d like ya to bring me some slaw (“Slaw” is redneck talk for “Coleslaw”). Oh, and please be friendly on the sauces – I’D ESPECIALLY LIKE SOME EXTRA TARTAR SAUCE!”

Could I have made it any more obvious that I wanted some extra tartar sauce? My additional sauce request was delivered with a sense of urgency, kinda like a P.S. at the end of a letter – And who doesn’t pay extra attention to the P.S. part? …No one! There should’ve been no reason for her to forget my extra sauce! …But Daneeka failed me and forgot to deliver the goods!

Since I didn’t want to cause a scene with my incredible fried fish fury, I bit my tongue and didn’t make a fuss over this taste enhancing tragedy – There was no reason for me to interrupt the dining experience of the surrounding tables of fellow lobster lovers, so I didn’t. I just sat there, and tried to be satisfied with my ONE SMALL CUP of tartar sauce.

The cup was empty only a quarter of the way through my meal, and I hadn’t even began to dive into my fried crab cakes – It was a pathetic situation, on the part of Red Lobster, and I just sat there helpless because I didn’t want to be “That Guy” who flipped over the lobster tank in a fit of fury over my lack of sauce …I swear I could’ve though! (I kid, I kid ;))

Hopefully, I haven’t upset too many of you with this horrific account of a dining experience gone wrong, and I want all of you to please continue to visit Red Lobster in the future. There’s no reason for them to lose your business because I didn’t get to sauce-up my fried clam strips. I just wanted to bring attention to an element of customer service that is often forgotten – The element of delivering the total package – Especially the little things within a product. They say “It’s the little things in life that make us happy,” and my passion for extra condiments serves as one of those “little things.”

Wishing you continued success…

bizMAVERICK –
Brad Williamson

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