While walking the hallway in my child’s school one day, a poster caught my eye. In huge letters, it said, “Failure Isn’t An Option”.
At that time I thought it was good. After all, that’s what we tell ourselves too. It’s an old message and you see it often in different places. We understand it to be good because we’re essentially saying – aim for excellence and we should always shoot to win.
It isn’t until recently that I’ve begun to take a different stance on that. In fact, I’ll be watching myself so those words will never be uttered to my children. The reason is simple. It is confusing for our young ones.
Imagine, here we are drilling into them year after year that failure is not an option. They get stressed out over their performance and when they do fail – even ever so slightly – they give up. What’s the point? Since failure is not an option, I’ve failed. I’m not good enough. Most schools fear the word Fail. They fear it so much you won’t find it on a report card. The problem isn’t with the word the problem is what and how we teach our children to respond to failures.
When these kids grow up and if they are extremely lucky, they find mentors and are surrounded by people who tell them “Fail forward, fail fast”. If they are resilient, they will get it and change their thinking about failure, but not all our kids turn out that way. Besides – it’s a waste of time! Why would anyone tell their child something that they have to unlearn (hopefully) 20-30 years later? Wouldn’t it make sense to equip our young ones with the right mindset to begin with?
Personally, the concept of failing forward is something that I’ve only learned in the recent decade myself. Before that, my fear of failure was often paralyzing because it’s always been taught “Failure is not an option”.
This is when I decided to start teaching my kids – Failure IS An Option.
You see, we have just started homeschooling. A huge responsibility in addition to running the business. However, the goal here is not just to school our next generation but to grow entrepreneurs. Do we really want to teach our young entrepreneurs that failure is not an option? I think not.
Instead, we shall take care to choose the right words. To get that same point across, I much prefer “Shoot To Win” and if you don’t win… let’s “Fail Forward” and figure out where we went wrong, then fix it if it can be fixed because not everything can be.
Your Turn…
Is failure not an option? Why? Why Not?
I agree that failure is a big part of success, but the idea behind “Failure Isn’t an Option” is that you keep trying. You can still fail a thousand times, but failure is not the end goal.
You got me thinking Lynette. I’ll have to say that I can agree. If failure is an option, then it sets us up to fail. We all have more failure in our lives than success. We grow accustom to it and to agree that accepting failure isn’t so bad, opens the door to mediocrity. Years ago I read a book called “Fear Of Success.” The premise was that most people fear actually getting what they want (success) because they are accustomed to failure (it’s the devil we know). You hear it in statements like “We’re going to pay for that.” “What are the chances?” “Settling.” etc.
aliceseba Yes, of course. Aim to fail is definitely a not what I had in mind.
LChandler LOL, now that would be some great parental advice. 😉
Ed Roach Perhaps you meant can’t agree. I do see where you’re coming from.
Ultimately, I think I dislike this phrase so much because it puts failure up in the forefront and creates unnecessary focus on it whether it generates the desired effect or not. I’d much prefer to say things that gives us a picture of a positive end result.
I love things like “burn the bridges” or “burn your boats” much better because it instantly gives you this picture in your mind. You better succeed because you certainly can’t go back and essentially it’s saying the same thing as failure isn’t an option.
LChandler Ed Roach You’re right (don’t agree) typo – thanks
@lynette Chandler. Ok. Agree that “Failure is an option” but what will
You do if you have no other chance or option but to be suceeded?Â
Failure is an option only in that domain where you have a chance to
Retake that work. Not in the place where you have a do or die situation.
Hi Lynette, I think you are right. If you do accept there is a chance, if you start your own company or any other adventure, Â you might fail you are more risk aware. You got a more realistic view on things and if you accept this your chance to succeed will increase because you will reduce the risk.
Cheap Car Finance I’d say take a look my responses to Ed and Alice 🙂
I’m not saying choose to fail. Big difference.
nice attracting to people huh.its so nice to know you succeed.:)
I don’t think FAILURE is an option. To fail is an option, but to me failure indicates an end to attempts to get better. Nobody wants to fail, really but failure is inevitable. What’s important is to plan for failure, learn from it, try to avoid damage and do your best to recover gracefully. Thanks Lynette! 🙂
Life is like a boxing match, failure and/or defeat is not declared when you fall, but when you refuse to stand up again.
HaddoJamaica Well said Haddo!